I just saw a nice little video about this and it reminded me to elaborate on the difference between the two!

In healthcare, the use of the word ‘refuse’ instead of ‘decline’ really boils my pi**…..

WHY is it that as soon as we gain more knowledge about a topic (let’s take Ehler Danlos syndrome, say), we start to use the information gained in a completely unnuanced way as a massive STICK to beat people with. Hard. Why?

This is an incredibly taboo issue.

But it is common. And NO, it is normally not a safeguarding concern.

I feel so SO lucky that I usually have a trusting enough relationship with clients that they feel able to ask me stuff that they might not ask other people……

I know I often talk about consent and assertiveness and no one being able to do anything to you without your consent. And that very much implies that if you KNOW what you want, and you say no at the appropriate times, you will be able to access the care that you need, opt out of the stuff that you don’t feel is right for you, or avoid unwanted intervention…..

Having supported several new families with new tiny humans in last few days and weeks (no day off yet over xmas ♥️ and it has been so lovely!) as usual we got talking about the frustrating nights that inevitably become a new families reality (usually the mother’s reality, mostly)

So, I generally like to chat about the stuff that we don’t usually talk about (this is part of why I consider myself to be socially awkward and don’t enjoy parties) and one of those things are postnatal (occasionally they also occur antenatally) anal fissures…

A word about cord ties. There is a lot of worry about their use, but remember, until relatively recently, we all used cord ties all the time….

This might touch a nerve 😞

ANY routine intervention that is accepted by 100% of people it is being offered to is NOT being discussed appropriately……

Fear is a funny old thing.

We all have it (unless we have some sort of interesting wiring in our brains), some more than others, we don’t usually want it, we try to fight it and we give it a very bad name, even and especially when it comes to birth….

Sharing this again because I think sometimes it is hard for people to understand why I charge for services that should be free for all if we lived in a perfect society and it shows how much free services I really provide. I would MUCH rather not charge, but currently I have no choice….

I have just heard (again) of a person being ‘told off’ by a midwife for looking stuff up on Google.

Or rather, a midwife assumed that the person had googled ‘no vaginal examinations’ and therefore decided that they didn’t want any…..

So, what can you expect from the postnatal care I provide??

I get this question a lot, especially when people have experienced minimal postnatal care previously, or they are not sure why they would pay an IM for the fun baby bit 🤔😂.…

So, what can you expect from me during antenatal care??

Again, many people are not sure why and how an independent midwife can be of value antenatally, and many MANY folk have never experienced excellent unrushed antenatal care….

Bringing this up again cos I hear it all the time 👀:

‘Oh, we have to be a little bit cruel to be kind.’

NOPE.

🥴I cannot stand lack of nuance🥴

(Though I’m sure I’m also guilty of leaving out nuance at times 😬)

Every time we give a blanket statement, we miss out nuance. The grey between the black and the white. The complexity of situations and choices….

This is an interesting one…..and a hotly debated topic too.

In ‘natural birth circles’ it can be quite taboo talking about the pain of birth……we are often told pain stems from fear, is due to tension in the body, won’t be a problem if we just rephrase is as ‘interesting or intense sensation’, have a positive mindset or breathe in the right way.

What if your baby arrives before your midwife does?

It happens 😬

Not infrequently.

Sometimes the two are impossible/very tricky to tell apart in a healthcare setting.

Being in a setting where you receive health care unfortunately means that there is a perceived (and rather real, usually) power imbalance…..

There is something that comes up again and again when it comes to the request for optimal cord clamping and waiting for white after birth......Rhesus negativity!

I just heard someone commenting on the BRAIN acronym saying: ‘well, intuition never saved any babies, a good birth team and birth plan do. Intuition stops women from seeking help as it gives false reassurance.’

Well, a good team and plan are important.......BUT…..