Cruel to be kind 🙄

Bringing this up again cos I hear it all the time 👀:

‘Oh, we have to be a little bit cruel to be kind.’

NOPE.

Harm is often done by someone with a smiling, kind face. Someone who says that they only want the best for the birthing person and their baby. By someone who is supposed to provide our evidence based healthcare. There is usually NO malice, quite the opposite. There is usually the desire to do the best for everyone and the shaken belief of 'knowing best'.

HOWEVER.

Trying to stick to guidelines without hearing preferences, fear, not understanding previous trauma, inability to provide individualised care due to fear of women veering off the usual path, being cruel to be kind, lack of empathy for circumstances that don't apply to the HCP personally, inability to HEAR people and unwillingness to actually trust them because it doesn't quite fit with the trust policy PROACTIVELY HURTS and CAUSES TRAUMA to women and other pregnant and birthing people. It also causes trauma bonding for many people, which comes with a whole lot of other issues to address and consider.

We don't have to save people from themselves. PLEASE STOP IT.