It’s ok to be upset over the *right* decision 😔

Sometimes in pregnancy, during birth or after (or in life in general), things happen that change the course of your plans. This can feel incredibly upsetting, and completely destabilising.

It sometimes leads to decisions towards paths you wanted to avoid, interventions you were really not keen on, or a birth that is different to what you had envisioned.

And that can be upsetting or even completely devastating.

BUT. I think it’s ok to feel upset over a decision you actually feel was right for you at the time with the information you had. It’s ok to grieve what you didn’t get. And it’s ok to wish it had been different.

EVEN IF YOU WERE IN CONTROL MAKING ULTIMATE DECISIONS IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I think we sometimes equate ‘being in control and having/exercising’ bodily autonomy with ‘everything will go my way’. This is not the case, and actually, with the good always comes some bad. It is HARD making choices and decisions around things we don’t actually want and are not what was planned.

But there are lots of scenarios where, even though you are fully in control and have stepped into your own power, you may decide on something that makes you sad:

-you might have a gut feeling that something is off with your baby and opt for an earlier birth

-you might get out of the pool to birth your baby even though your ultimate goal was a waterbirth

-you might choose to go for a Caesarean section as you are worried for your baby’s health

-you might go for some supplementation with formula if you are struggling with breastfeeding and your baby needs some energy to efficiently feed from the breast

Etc etc.

These decisions are the hardest ones, but they mean you are FULLY autonomous, warts and all. Because with these decisions also comes the awareness that you have the choice not to make them, and that not making them MIGHT on balance NOT be right for you.